Strong coaching starts with relationships. When young people feel seen, supported and safe, they’re more likely to enjoy their sport, keep learning and stay involved.
So how do you build rapport with a team, especially at the start of a season?
This article draws on ideas shared by coaching consultant and sport scientist Dr Wade Gilbert, with simple ways to connect early, build trust over time, and coach the person (not just the sport).
Why relationships matter
Coaching is a human activity. It’s built on how we connect, teach, motivate and communicate. That’s why many coaching experts place people skills at the foundation of great coaching.
A helpful way to think about it is:
Young people decide early whether they can trust you and whether you care.
If they don’t feel those things, it’s hard to get the best out of training, no matter how good your drills are.
Start by coaching the person
A key part of rapport is getting to know players as people. Their life outside sport (home, school, friendships and interests) affects how they learn, behave and stay motivated.
- Small actions can make a big difference:
- Learn names quickly (and use them).
- Notice effort, not just results.
- Ask simple questions and listen to the answers.
- Be consistent. Young people watch what you do more than what you say.
Build connection early (before you focus on ‘the sport’)
When you’re coaching a new group, your first session doesn’t need to be about game plans or expectations. It’s a chance to create connection and lay the foundations for trust.
Below are 3 simple activities you can use early in the season.
Three practical ways to build rapport
1) One‑word activity (best for session 1)
Purpose: a quick, low‑pressure way to learn about people and help the group connect.
How it works:
- Give everyone a piece of paper.
- Ask them to write 1 word that describes them.
- Go around the circle.
- Each person shares their word and why they chose it.
Tips:
- Keep it light and short.
- As the coach, share yours too. Model the tone you want.
- Don’t “analyse” responses. Just acknowledge and thank them.
Watch a short video on the one-word activity.
2) “I wish my coach knew…” (best after 2–3 weeks)
Purpose: helps you understand what matters to players once some trust has formed.
How it works:
- Give each player a small card with the prompt: “I wish my coach knew…”
- They write their response (you can make it anonymous).
- Collect the cards and read them later.
Tips:
- Don’t use this too early. Players need time to feel safe.
- Tell them how you’ll use the information (to coach them better).
- Follow up with small changes that show you listened.
Watch a short video on the ‘I wish my coach knew’ activity.
3) Player profile cards (best for the first month)
Purpose: a simple tool to learn how each player responds and what helps them feel supported.
What to include (keep it short):
- “I respond best when…”
- “It doesn’t work for me when…”
- “One thing you should know about me is…”
- Favourite position / role / what they enjoy in sport (optional).
Watch a short video on player profile cards.
What ‘showing you care’ can look like
Building rapport doesn’t require big speeches. It can be small things over time.
Try:
- Greet players when they arrive.
- Use calm, clear instructions.
- Give feedback that helps them improve (not just judgement).
- Be fair and consistent with standards.
- Notice when someone is quiet, frustrated, tired or unsure, and check in.
Sometimes caring also means setting boundaries or holding the line. The key is that it’s done in the player’s best interests and with their development in mind.
In summary
- People skills are a foundation of good coaching.
- Get to know players as people, not just players.
- Build connection early, before focusing on performance.
- Use simple activities to learn what matters to players and how they respond.
- Trust grows when your actions are consistent and supportive.
